Balancing the ten-year buzzkill with the badass life

What gets in the way of my happiness?

I bet I’m not alone in this.

I’ve been told I have enough cash to live the way I’m living now for 10 more years, given that I spend more than I earn.

That ten years is one of my mind’s favorite ways to scare the shit out of myself. Sometimes I have to work hard to focus on something else besides these compelling fears.

Luckily, I’m getting better at turning my attention to something more fun to fiddle with, play with, or think about. I’m grateful every day that I’m an artist and a tinkerer.

For over 30 years, I’ve worked hard running my own business. It’s been an incredible journey of creativity and passion, but here’s the truth: my business hasn’t paid the bills for most of those years. I’ve had to navigate a delicate balance between doing the work I love and figuring out how to make ends meet—a reality I know I’m not alone in facing. And now at 73, I may not want to work as hard or as long, but I’m not retired—I’m still here, creating, consulting, and finding new ways to contribute.

Affordable housing

I put myself on reduced rent waiting lists for senior housing in 2017, and in the last year or two I’ve landed on the top of some of those lists.

When those affordable housing calls come, they expect you to move in within days, forcing snap decisions and impossible timelines—downsizing and organizing a move without even seeing the place. There’s no time to process or even visit—so far I’ve found it impossible to commit on their timeline.

I can’t wrap my head around it. A few days to go look at the place, figure out how I can downsize that hard that fast and actually doing so, and process my resistance to the move in general.

The resistance is huge, not gonna lie. It’s not just about the timeline. The spaces themselves I’ve seen strip away so much of what I value: autonomy, a garden, actual physical space.

It feels like I’m subordinate to a slapped-together system.

A system that pressures me into decisions without the time to visit the place or reflect on what such a move would mean for my independence and well-being.

It's a setup that seems rigged against those of us trying to navigate these tough choices.

I feel stuck between a broken housing system and the frustrating reality of asking for help.

As if the housing system wasn’t enough, when I reached out to the state/county for financial help, I found myself in a frustrating bind. Apparently I have too much $$ to qualify for any benefits, despite the fact that my finances aren’t “California-capable.” 🙄 Ouch.

I’m staying afloat okay; my needs are met. Ish.

I live in a funky rental with wood floors, a great stove, and a little garden. I drive a reliable but quirky car. (Do all SUVs have spiders in the wing mirrors and webs growing out of them?)

But it’s the knowledge of those 10 years that looms large sometimes, and I’m telling you it can be quite the buzzkill.

Heath concerns

Housing isn’t my only concern—there’s also my health, which often presents challenges.

Bodies, right? In my case it’s autoimmune stuff and chronic inflammation. And aging with all its little and big insults and impacts. I wonder about the future. If I get sick, I can’t afford any kind of continuing care community. It’s a daunting reality I’m not sure I’m ready to face.

Despite these uncertainties, there’s joy—life still gives me plenty to savor and create.

I love being a grandma, creating art, and working with my clients to build websites and brands that engage and convert. I share my healing and beautifying products with others, which adds a sense of purpose to my days. And I’m doing everything I can to stay upright—fitness and physical training, along with nourishing myself in every way I know how, are part of my daily life as I navigate the health issues that come my way.

And so, I wonder: How do I balance this joy with the occasional paralysis that creeps in? I recognize that by sharing these realities, I hope to connect with others facing similar challenges.

And through it all, I’m lucky to be growing this community. Aging and the third third of life are most definitely not for the faint of heart, and I know that our hearts get stronger when we support each other. It’s wonderful to know we don’t have to do this alone.

Feeling generous?

Here’s how you can support me in living this badass life.

• Become a paid subscriber to Aging Like a Badass and help me continue sharing my work with this community.

• Buy my art—supporting my creative side allows me to keep making pieces that bring joy.

• Hire me as your Marketing Maven, and we’ll build engaging, converting websites and brands together.

• Treat me to a cup of tea or kombucha—think of it as a virtual tip.

• Purchase my healing topicals and tinctures that I craft with care.

Your support can help me navigate this uncertain path while continuing to create, share, and contribute to our community.